How often we say to ourselves and others: «I do not know what to do, what to do». This happens because the injured part of the ego blocks our actions, protecting against possible disappointments and failures. It is experienced children’s injuries that most stereotypes of behavior in adulthood are determined. We depend on the decisions that have taken by children. Is it possible to break this circle?
Sooner or later, we have a choice: happiness and inner freedom or stay on the sidelines of life, the curing of children’s grievances and fears, betrayal of their genuine essence? We make such a choice every day in thoughts, emotions, actions. Experiencing negative emotions, we make negative decisions that lead to negative results. We repeat the same errors. To break this circle, try to take seven steps that will finally help choose happiness and success and consolidate the choice at an unconscious level.
Step 1: Aware of the installations limiting you
Usually these are the instructions and prohibitions of parents and other family members adopted in childhood. To realize them, write out your negative thoughts about yourself, people and the world, and then the negative statements of loved ones. See if there are repeated phrases.
Step 2: Formulate negative beliefs in a positive way
The unconscious does not perceive the particle “not”, therefore, formulating positive attitudes, it is important to avoid it, get rid of negatively colored words. Not «I’m thin,» but «I’m slender». Cross out every phrase containing a negative attitude, and write down a positive alternative – affirmation.
Step 3: Excuse me and accept yourself
Repeat these phrases in the morning for 40 days, better in front of the mirror. It is worth starting with phrases that do not cause rejection or doubt. At this stage, we learn to forgive and accept ourselves. The specified period is usually enough for new stable neural ties and thoughts to become unconscious. I usually finish the exercise with the phrase of Louise Hay: “I love and accept you what you are. What can I do for you today?»
Step 4: Excuse me and accept loved ones who harm you
For many, this task is the most difficult. At this step, you need to explore the past of the family. When we understand that the parents in a sense were victims of their parents or life circumstances, it becomes easier to accept and forgive them, and this brings relief and enormous charge of energy.
Step 5: Restore energy potential
For years we spend energy on resentment, disputes that destroy relationships. You need to get rid of harmful thoughts, but even more important to understand what gives you energy. For me, this is a full -fledged dream, early climb, chopen music, pure drinking water in large quantities, mint tea, hot shower, balanced food, yoga, meditation. Make a list of «power engineers» and enter them in your routine.
Step 6: Formulate new goals
Realizing that we are worthy of love and respect, we always acted correctly, we are ready to move on. Evaluate the five main areas of your life:
- health (body, psyche);
- family (partners, children, parents);
- connections (social, professional);
- finances (salary, business, investment);
- knowledge (education, languages, skills).
Ask yourself: what do I want? Why do I need it? What is my uniqueness? What do I need to find out? Who needs to interact with? What do I need to do? What bothers me? How I understand that I have reached the goal?
Step 7: Test targets
Write the answers to questions above on A4 format paper. Put the sheets on the floor at a distance of a step away from each other. You should get an even path leading to an imaginary goal, in the following sequence: the environment (what is my new environment?), actions (what I need to do?), knowledge (what I need to find out?), identity (what is my uniqueness?), values (why do I need it?), vision (which I really want?), symbols (what image, smell, taste and sound of my new goal?).
The symbols with which you have connected your goal will use the chain of the necessary connections and images in your brain